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Playing house~

While busting my hinny in my backyard recently I had to take some time to spruce up my g-kids playhouse. The first thing needing my attention was the unsightly sink/stove, cabinet area. Yuck.I bought the Krylon brand spray paint that paints on plastic... It took about 3 coats to get it to cover the green, but I think it turned out very nice. I don't know how it will hold up to kids banging on it with toys... but in the mean time, its lovely.
I also added carpet... I know right? I had told my 3 year old grandson I had cleaned up the playhouse and that he and his sister could now play in it... he asked me, "You put carpet in it Nana?"... and of course I replied... "Not yet" So, now it has wall to wall beige carpet, the color of dirt. *wink* Here is a cherry tomatoe plant next to the front door of the playhouse. (there are actually 3 tomatoe plants all tied together growing as one)I've got it staked to a copper pipe with a cute white cage around it, that sucker is going to be kept teathered to the pole so its neat and orderly! Here is a photo of the other side of the walkway to the playhouse...
Everything is growing nicely, including the lawn I planted from seed. Lastly, a photo of my polka-dot dog... Buddy. Guess I had better get in some time behind the ol' sewing machine...... I'm making curtains for the playhouse!

Lazy Sunday #121: "Tell Me Again Why You Blog"

Actually, the answer is complicated. Or maybe it's not…

Mad Hatter's watch~

With the Mad hatters tea party right around the corner and me stuck in pirate mode.... I was needing to do something for the upcoming party. Hmmm a pirate mad hatter party?... nah~ Anywho, I have had this outdoor two sided clock and temperatue gauge hanging in my backyard for about 5 years now... until it finally decided to stop working this past winter. Bummer. When I took it down to replace it with another clock ---I thought it looked like a huge pocket watch.... DUH! Soooooooooo I spray painted the casing gold and added a chunky gold chain that I picked up at a yard sale recently and taaaaaaaaaa-daaaaaaaaaa! The Mad Hatter's watch! On the flip side of the pocket watch, (the temperature gauge side) I'm going to do something extra special-- if time premits! I am needing an "Alice in Wonderland" dress for my grandaughter to wear to the party. Luckily, I happened upon two things that will hopefully come together for a dress for her. I picked up this little white lacey dress and a pair of blue silk pants from a thrift store for a total cost of $2.50 cents . I didn't want to spend a lot for this as its only going to be used once. The silk pants said to hand wash them, but they came out perfectly from the washer & dryer :-)Being the overly crazy person that I am... I also signed up for a "Show us your craft/art/studio space. Who needs sleep right? My studio isn't exactly ready for a big reveal, but at least this will get me to clean it up-- so its all good!

Sometimes The Dragon Wins

Back when I used to shadow Homicide Squads for a TV show, there were two items you found pinned to every squad room bulletin board. One was a cartoon, so over photocopied it was barely legible, depicting a half swallowed frog strangling the stork that was eating him under the slogan "Don't Ever Give Up".

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It was a reminder to every exasperated/frustrated detective that if they ever lost the will to fight for their victims, the job would eat them alive.

The second item was far more poignant. It was four words: "Sometimes The Dragon Wins".

As in -- sometimes there is no happy ending. Sometimes good does not conquer.

Yesterday, in Toronto, the Dragon won.

Last August, on a night as sweltering as the current heat wave enveloping this city, a terrible tragedy played out on our streets. In a traffic congested town all too familiar with animosity between cars and drivers and those riding bicycles, a collision between those two "cultures" ended in the death of a bike courier named Darcy Allan Sheppard under the wheels of a stylish sports car driven by the province's former Attorney General, Michael Bryant.

Although eye witnesses differed on details and the street surveillance cameras caught only blurred, silent portions of the action, the basic story was that a confrontation between the two (as Bryant drove his wife home from celebrating their anniversary) culminated in Sheppard hanging onto Bryant's Saab convertible as the car sped along the "Mink Mile" of Bloor Street, the city's most exclusive shopping district.

Street-video-of-Bryant-car-800

Again, depending on which bystanders you believe, Sheppard gained control of Bryant's steering wheel or Bryant attempted to shake him off. Either way, Sheppard struck a fire hydrant, lost his grip and hit his head on the curb before the rear wheels of the car went over him.

Bryant drove a further block to a local high end hotel, dialed 911 and turned himself in.

bryant-in-police-car-800

It was a shocking incident that polarized the city over questions of class and culture and how the competing agendas of drivers and cyclists had come to this. Bryant was charged. Vigils were held by cyclists. Newspapers and talk radio debated whether Bryant's social status or Sheppard's outlaw reputation would make a difference to the jury and the verdicts.

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It never came to that. Our own version of "Bonfire of the Vanities" never got to the courtroom scenes.

Yesterday, a special prosecutor brought in from Vancouver to try the case dropped all charges against Bryant insisting that there was "no reasonable prospect of conviction".

And maybe that's true.

I'm a driver in Toronto and I don't have a lot of time for most of the people I encounter on bicycles. When I was a kid in Regina, your bike needed a license so people could report any missteps you made. You also needed to be equipped with a light, a horn or bell and rear reflectors, making you easier to see and in a better position to warn those who didn't that you were there.

None of those things are required in Toronto, partly due to an aggressive cycling lobby. So, like most people who drive in the city, I've had my share of close calls with bikers and been forced to watch them fly through stop signs or zip the wrong way down a one-way street while I have to obey the traffic rules.

Bike couriers are among the worst offenders. Guys trying to do an impossible job to be sure. But also a tribe that includes a few with little use for the conventions of society. What happens on the pavement aside, you don't have to spend much time downtown without being yelled at for being in their way on the sidewalk or almost mashed as they push their bikes into an elevator on their way to a delivery.

As early stories came out that Sheppard had been drunk and police had asked him to leave his girlfriend's apartment earlier in the evening, more and more people wondered how they would have reacted had they encountered him while they were vulnerable in an open car with their wife.

It certainly would have been difficult to find a jury who hadn't heard about or formed a personal opinion about the case.

That said, as the special prosecutor detailed his reasons for dropping the charges, it was hard to feel like justice was being served, or that we're all still somehow equal in the eyes of the law.

I don't know why a "special prosecutor" had to be brought in to handle the case, although it makes sense that you can't have a local Crown prosecuting his former boss without somebody questioning the possibility of impropriety. But when this special prosecutor detailed his reasons for dropping charges, I couldn't help feeling a greater impropriety was taking place with somebody in charge who would never need to face much local scrutiny or accountability.

Instead of making sure Michael Bryant didn't get preferential treatment, what was revealed yesterday suggested that's exactly what he received.

Prosecutors and Bryant's legal team seemed to share an inordinate amount of information and a lot of time and money was spent investigating the character of the deceased while hard forensic evidence (or the fact it had never been collected) seemed of lesser importance. It was as if both sides were trying the case in private, searching for a path to make it all go away. 

They quickly found it in the personality of Darcy Allan Sheppard.

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Shortly after the incident, other drivers recognizing him from photographs came forward to describe being similarly attacked. With their assailant unable to argue the charges, and since none of them ever made a formal complaint to the police prior to his death, there's no way of proving their attacker was actually Darcy Sheppard, or if he was even at the locations of the attacks at the times they occurred.

A lawyer with a firm whose offices overlook the downtown street corner where bike couriers gather snapped several pictures of Sheppard allegedly attacking a driver who was on the wrong side of the street (photo above). But like those drivers, he didn't do anything with the photos until after Sheppard was dead.

Now, doesn't that strike you as odd? Why claim what you photographed is an altercation between a courier and a motorist, even though you couldn't hear what was said, don't know what precipitated it or even if it was a guy just horsing around. How is that evidence of anything?

What's more, if you're a lawyer in that neighborhood, it's quite possible the self same miscreant courier picks up or drops off packages at your office from time to time. If you've got a record of somebody that belligerent, aren't you doing something to make sure he doesn't come around your place of business -- like finding out who he is and maybe calling his boss?

Yet according to interviews with Sheppard's employers, everybody liked him and nobody ever complained about him.

Still, this was enough for the special prosecutor to ignore standard legal practice which does not allow you to introduce evidence of past behavior as proof that the guy "was a shit and deserved what he got".  Yet he did so by quoting an obscure 30 year old case where exactly that was allowed because the actions were "highly distinctive or unique as to carry a signature".

Funny how that's never been allowed in trials of gang shootings. But anyway…

Verifiable beyond a reasonable doubt or not, the testimony of these individuals was accepted as enough for the prosecutor to conclude that Darcy Sheppard "was the aggressor in the confrontation that resulted in his death".

But that ignores the physical evidence available -- or which was never obtained.

Here's surveillance video of the accident.

The first segment shows Bryant's 1995 Saab convertible waiting at a red light as Sheppard pulls into the lane in front of him. Bryant claims that at this point his car stalled and in starting it, it jumped ahead touching Sheppard's rear tire. So far, no harm, no foul -- although Bryant has struck a cyclist.

He claims the car stalled a second time and when the car restarted it jumped ahead again -- this time for NINE METERS. That's 27 feet. About 2 and a half car lengths.

Now this strikes me as odd for two reasons. Y'see, I used to drive a 1996 Saab convertible, virtually the same car Bryant was driving. And on the rare occasions when it stalled, two things happened:

1. The Headlights flickered and dimmed.

2. You can't start a Standard transmission car without the clutch engaged or the shift in neutral, both of which prevent it from moving forward.

But in the video, Bryant's headlights don't dim and the forward motion appears to be the result of ACCELERATION.

So did Darcy Sheppard initiate the confrontation, or did something else happen?

Bryant stated that he witnessed Sheppard tossing things on the road and interfering with other traffic. Then this guy was in front of him. Any chance there was a "love tap" to teach him a lesson and maybe a second one after something was said to really make the point?

We'll never know that either, because Michael Bryant will never be cross-examined under oath.

And nobody said much yesterday about his personality beyond what a fine, upstanding member of society he is.

Nobody mentioned that he was known for his "pugnacious streak" or had been an amateur boxer. Nobody mentioned how tough and outspoken he'd always been as a politician, pushing a ban on pitbulls, championing a law to seize the cars of street racers and not only crush them but "crush the parts". Not the sort of guy you'd expect to back down from a scrap or suddenly panic.

What really made him cover those initial 27 feet shown in the second part of the video, ending up with Sheppard sprawled across and then tumbling from his hood?

Was he drunk? Don't know, despite an accident in which there had been a loss of life, the police never administered a breathalyzer test or took a blood sample. In fact, they never even took a formal statement from him.

Was he telling Darcy Sheppard, as he had made clear to many political opponents, that he wasn't a guy you fucked with?

If he did, the moment the cyclist was on his hood, he had to know he'd gone too far. I would have and I'm not a lawyer. But his next decision was clearly to leave the scene of the accident -- another criminal act. And the video shows that he made that decision before Sheppard had even risen to his feet.

Before the biker is any kind of a threat, Bryant is reversing his car and high-tailing it out of there.

Sheppard made the fatal mistake of grabbing the car. To stop the man who attacked him from escaping? To exact revenge for being rammed? To be reimbursed for his crushed bike? We'll never know.

What is clear is that Bryant then travelled the length of a football field with a man hanging onto his car. According to the forensic report, the vehicle never exceeded an AVERAGE speed of 34 Kph.

Notice that interesting attempt to sell a low speed incident there?

Average speed 34 Kph. Which since we started at zero means we had to get to 68 Kph in order to "average" 34.

0-68 IN 100 METERS. That's a man standing on the accelerator of a 1995 Saab, if his ran anything like my own in the summer of 2009.

Witnesses you can find in other Youtube clips describe Sheppard as "hanging on for dear life". Was he trying to get control of the car by this point or simply desperate for a better hand hold. Again we'll never know.

All that is inarguable is that whatever was happening with the steering wheel, the guy with his foot on the gas was speeding up, and making Sheppard's situation more precarious.

At what point did he know that it was more dangerous to let go than to keep hanging on?

But the special prosecutor dismissed what the witnesses said they saw anyway, calling them "inconsistent".

This guy is some kind of top notch criminal lawyer and he doesn't know what any cop, any lawyer or anybody who has watched more than one trial can tell you with absolute certainty -- witnesses rarely tell the exact same story.

darcy2

And so, Michael Bryant is a free man with no criminal record. And maybe that's a case of "But for the grace of God…" and maybe it's a guy with friends in high places looking after him.

Sometimes there is not even a pretence of Justice.

Sometimes the Dragon wins without even trying.

Or maybe it's becoming the Dragon's time, a time when we shouldn't look for him to lose anymore.

I've just finished reading Michael Lewis' brilliant book, "The Big Short" about the subprime mortgage trashing of our economy that still hasn't seen anybody charged two years after it happened.

Tonight's news features the Canadian government spending $1 Billion for security alone at next month's G20 conference. Something the city of London accomplished for 1% of that cost a mere 2 years ago.

Included in that expense are tens of millions to make sure the food consumed by the visiting dignitaries is "safe".

Funny how there's money for that and none for the hundreds of thousands of Aboriginal Canadians who've been boiling their drinking water for my entire lifetime, nor any for the hundreds of thousands depending on food banks ever since some of those same dignitaries tanked their livelihoods.

"Connected Guy Found Not Guilty" shouldn't be a headline that surprises anybody these days, least of all me.

What's different here is that even the pretense of fairness is gone. Nobody even tries to sustain the myth that we're all equal any more.

You always knew there was an "us" and a privileged "them". But you could hope there was some balance or at least an occasional reckoning.

There isn't anymore.

It's their world now. We're just allowed to live here.

For now.

UPDATE:

Not 48 hours after the special prosecutor ruled there was "no reasonable prospect for conviction" in the Michael Bryant case, the veracity of two of the six motorist statements used to establish a negative pattern of behavior for Darcy Allan Sheppard have been called into question.

And as some have claimed (including commenters here) that such introduction of past behavior is not as rare in our courts as it might appear to us neophytes in the world of jurisprudence, nobody has offered an explanation as to why this tenet of the law never seems to come up with anything approaching regularity in the trials of gang members, drug dealers or sex offenders.

But for more on the legal aspect of the decision, by a mind far more adept at dissecting how the justice system works in Ontario than I'll ever be, I urge you to read what is posted here.

It's hard to read this content alongside the editorials rationalizing the dropping of charges in this weekend's Toronto newspapers and not come away with the tragic feeling that our courts are not the place where any of us should expect to find justice nor our press not in servitude to something other than the truth.

My apologies if accessing the material makes you feel as incredibly sad as it did me.

But maybe that's where change begins…

Once the Dragon has been revealed, he's suddenly less a mythical figure than a common reptile unable to actually breathe fire and with scales less impervious to attack.

FURTHER UPDATE:

The more you research the dropping of charges against Michael Bryant, the more you come to believe that the special prosecutor and the Ontario justice system cornered the market on white wash and didn't use it sparingly.

And on top of that -- the more you wonder why not one of Toronto's media outlets is willing to question or further investigate what went on.

Here are some things you might find interesting…

Apparently, the Canadian Press filed a "freedom of information" request regarding the special prosecutor that the Province of Ontario declined on the grounds that it was "related to the prosecution". Now that the prosecution is over, it'll be interesting to see if CP or anyone else re-files that request. 

I finally found a copy of the "Executive Summary" of the case here. One of its stunning revelations is just how tenuous the "prior actions of the deceased" which were used to dismiss the charges really are. We were told that "Mr. Sheppard had at least six altercations with other motorists" prior to his death.

While it doesn't appear that charges were filed against the deceased in any of the incidents nor any complaints made to the police, the statements were accepted as accurate and reliable. Yet, they include an incident dated only as "several years prior" involving a 76 year old female driver who did not ID Sheppard until after his death and another in which the complainant thought her attacker was Sheppard but "was not entirely certain".

In another portion of the summary, the Special prosecutor states that "forensic evidence has demonstrated that the Saab (Bryant's car) did not rub against the curb or mount the curb at any time" while discounting testimony by witnesses that the driver was trying to use street furniture to knock Sheppard off his car.

Nowhere does he explain how then, Bryant's car sustained the scrapes and dents visible on the night in question.

450_saab_090901

Curiouser and curiouser…

Hockey Pool Pt.2 "The Finals Props"

There's an old actor's adage to describe the shortness of the average Thespian's career, "One day you're standing in the wings -- and the next you're wearing them!"

Likewise, it feels like mere days ago we had 16 teams in the Stanley Cup hunt and now we're down to two. 

 finals

A lot of people predicted Chicago would be the best of the West. But nobody expected the East would be represented by Philadelphia. For all the Canadian media obsession with the Montreal "Cinderella Story", the real fairy tale seems to be unfolding further South with the Broad Street Bullies eschewing their traditional Ugly stepsister role to slide on the glass slipper.

Winning the last available playoff spot on the last day of the season in a shootout. Knocking out the league's top goalie in the first round. Coming back from 3-0 against Boston and then turning their Cinderella rivals into a pumpkin.

Good as Chicago is, I wouldn't underestimate these guys and the Byfuglien/Pronger battle in front of the net shapes up as being one for the ages.

And since The Infamous Writer's Pool has not achieved similar status this season, it's time to toss in the traditional final round contest -- "The Props".

For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, a little history.

Betting on sports has been around as long as there have been guys who needed to pump up their self-esteem by proving they were right about something. And for centuries money changed hands based on who won or lost a contest. Then Las Vegas and the Superbowl were invented. Pretty soon the smart guys who ran the Casinos realized that while you could make millions on who won a football game, you could make Billions with side wagers.

So Proposition Betting was created to give us sports degenerates an opportunity to blow our money on outcomes nobody in their right mind can confidently predict.

wayne gambles

You might be wagering on the coin toss (Janet Gretzky's favorite -- seen here at Caesar's Palace with absolutely non-betting husband and Hockey Great One Wayne) or if a touchdown is made by a player whose jersey number is over 30.

Props are also not one bet options. You need to pick at least a half dozen. The odds of collecting on your bet are infinitesimal. But then, you can't put a price on a good time, can you?

So here's how the "Infamous Writers Pool Hockey Props"  works…

There are six bets. All are related to the Stanley Cup Finals.

Some require sports knowledge. Some only require guts! The player with the most correct answers wins. And a special piece of Canadian Hockey memorabilia (currently treasured by Yours Truly) will be awarded to the winner.

Should there be a tie -- uh -- we'll figure that out if there's a tie.

But this contest is definitely going to come down to the final game!

Entry is open to all current pool players, everybody who’s been kicking themselves for not getting in on the original action and anybody else who just needs to boost their self image.

Entries must be sent to seraphic@sympatico.ca anytime between now and the first faceoff of the Game One on Saturday night.

Your six Hockey Propositions are:

1. The 2009-2010 Stanley Cup winner will be decided in:

     a) Four Games

     b) Five Games

     c) Six Games

     d) Seven Games

2. The total number of goals scored in the Final series will be:

    a) Less than 20

    b) 20 to 30

    c) More than 30

3. Chicago's Jonathan Toews enters the finals with a 13 game scoring streak. The current record is a 15 game streak. Toews will:

a) Not break the record

b) Tie the record

c) Beat the record

4. "Hockey Night in Canada"  icon Don Cherry always confidently predicts the winner of each game prior to the opening faceoff. For the FOURTH game of the series, he will be:

a) Correct

b) Incorrect

For non-Canadian players -- CBC's "Hockey Night in Canada" is streaming all games at http://www.cbc.ca/sports, usually in more languages than English.

5. The Leading Scorer in the final series will be:

a) Jonathan Toews (Chicago)

b) Patrick Kane (Chicago)

c) Mike Richards (Philadelphia)

d) Danny Briere (Philadelphia)

e) Other

6. The Captain of the winning team is the first player to hoist the Stanley Cup and skate a victory lap. The Cup is then passed to each member of his team. And it's usually passed to someone the player with the Cup feels is deserving. The Goalie of the winning team will be:<

a) One of the first six players to hoist the Cup

b) The Seventh to Twelfth player to hoist the Cup

c) One of the remaining players to hoist the Cup

Tough enough? C'mon, suck it up! How often are you gonna get a chance like this?

Pirate Pennants

I'm still working feverishly on pirate stuff... I just whipped up these pirate pennants today. I have gazillions already, but these are new and improved, they are not the normal pennant shape but long rectangles with burlap hanging out the opening at the top. I'll string them along some rope closer to party time~
I made a stencil using cardstock that I covered with some clear plastic contact paper. I drew a skull and crossbone shape onto the paper and cut it out with a blade. Then I stenciled it onto the fabric using a foam brush. I then cut out the face details and stenciled that on once the white paint had time to dry. Easy-peasy~Along with making these... I've sewn 4 tablecloths and 2 pirate-ship sails, built a mortar and wood fence & gate (plus stained all of that) built two wooden decks, laid a couple hundred brick... made two new "roofs" for two matching gazebo's, weeded-put down a drip system-laid down some weed barrier-poured bag after bag of bark over all of that... and I've still got a lot more to do!

Lazy Sunday #120: "Victoria, 'toria!"

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"Long ago life was clean
Sex was bad and obscene
And the rich were so mean
Stately homes for the Lords
Croquet lawns, village greens
Victoria was my queen
Victoria, Victoria, Victoria, 'toria"

While the rest of Northern Hemisphere has to tough it out for another month, this weekend marks the official beginning of Summer in Canada. Think of it as a kind of seasonally adjusted rate for a country that doesn't get as much Summer as most.

The May 24th Weekend is affectionately known as "May 2-4" here, meaning you pick up a 24 case of beer and head to the cottage, lake, beach, woods, whatever and drink all of it while setting off enough fireworks to traumatize the dog until you ignite the next barrage on July first.

Officially, the weekend is set aside to honor Queen Victoria even though, despite being Queen longer than anybody ever, she never once dropped by to visit.

But then, that's us, friendly and forgiving to a fault; as well as open to any excuse to get drunk and play with explosives.

If you have never visited Canada but would like us to name a three day weekend after you, just let me know and we'll light the fuse.

During one lost V-Day weekend in my youth, I remember baking on a beach while learning the chords to a song called "Victoria" because it seemed like a fitting anthem for the occasion. 

And it was -- "Victoria" was written by Ray Davies of "The Kinks" as the opening track to their 1969 concept album "Arthur (or -- The Decline and Fall of The British Empire)". And of course, Ray, whacked as he was (is), decided to open his story at the height of Britain's empire in celebration of its prudishness and paternalism.

"I was born, lucky me
In a land that I love
Though I am poor, I am free
When I grow I shall fight
For this land I shall die
Let her sun never set
Victoria, Victoria, Victoria, 'toria"

I LOVED "The Kinks" when I was growing up. I don't know exactly why. They came off as about the most pointless band you could imagine trendy and too serious about music teenagers embracing. Their own Musicians Union BANNED them from touring North America at the height of the "British Invasion" because they were just too damn rowdy onstage.

And their musical evolution was almost beyond comprehension. The distorted electric riffs of their first hits "You Really Got Me" and "All Day and All of the Night" gave way to lilting ballads like "Waterloo Sunset" and "Sunny Afternoon" before taking a sharp left turn from "Lola", a song about transvestites, to bizarre Music Hall tinted social commentaries like "Well Respected Man" and "Dedicated Follower of Fashion".

But the Kinks were also infectiously fun, subversive with a great guitar hook and blessed with the kind of gentle humanity you'll find in "Come Dancin' " , probably the best song ever written about dating.

So for me, this weekend always includes the following lyrics…

"Canada to India
Australia to Cornwall
Singapore to Hong Kong
From the West to the East
From the rich to the poor
Victoria loved them all
Victoria, Victoria, Victoria, 'toria"

C'mon, it's only fitting --- the woman was married to a guy who had a dick piercing named after him. You know she had a few Kinks of her own.

And probably liked fireworks too!

Enjoy "The Kinks" and Enjoy Your Sunday. (Plus Monday if you live in Canada).

Pool Standings Wk5: At Least Somebody's Having Fun

forum fans

As Uncle Willis correctly assessed the situation a few days ago, this year's pool has kinda slid sideways. And the fact that I'm in 3rd place is proof positive that the Hockey Gods have been tinkering with the Laws of Probability as well as Karma.

And yet, I don't get the sense anybody is losing interest in how this weird post-season is playing itself out. Even though almost every game in the final conference rounds has been a blow-out, there's still a feeling that nobody has a lock on getting to hoist Lord Stanley's mug.

Can Chicago keep tying up Joe Thornton forever? Which white hot goalie in the Eastern final is going to flame out first? Tempers are fraying. The character of guys who haven't come this far to lose is starting to show. I'm thinking we've got some spectacular hockey coming in the next few days.

None of these teams know how to roll over and die.

And also coming for you guys who are feeling out of the race is your opportunity to redeem yourselves. With the final round comes the Infamous Writers Hockey Props, with more tests of your game prowess and bigger prizes. And even if you didn't enter a team in this year's pool, you're eligible to participate.

More details once we get past the semis.

This week, Foster and Pascoe continue to duke it out for the lead. But there's a dark horse coming up behind them. One injury or one forward going cold and there could be a whole different outcome.

That old T-shirt that read "Hockey is Life" spoke a great truth. Because in Hockey, as in Life -- it's never what you were expecting.

This week's standings:

pool stand 5

Outdoor pennant~

I made a pennant for my g-kids play-yard. I was planning on using fabric, but never made it to a fabric store, so I decided on using a vinyl tablecloth.I cut off long 2 inch strips of the tablecloth from one end so that I could hang the triangle pennants from it once they were made. I made a large pennant shape out of cardstock to use as my pattern.... I lined up my plastic cutting ruler and used my rotary fabric cutter to cut the vinyl tablecloth. I unfolded it slightly and cut several at one time. Once everything was cut, I stitched two together for each pennant then I used my pinking shears to cut two sides of each one. Once that was finished, I sandwiched them in between the long-long matching 2 inch pieces to make a long pennant.
Easy-peasy~ Wouldn't this be fabulous made to match the same vinyl tablecloths on your tables? Think fourth of July...caute huh!
I've linked up to "Under $100 Linky Party"

Connecting With An Audience

One night about a year ago, I fished the remainder bin at my local Blockbuster and came up with two films I’d meant to see but hadn’t --- “Bottle Shock” and “Battle in Seattle”.

rickman 

battleinseattlepic2 

I ended up liking both --- a lot, recommending them to biz associates in the “This is the kind of stuff we should be making” conversations I get into from time to time.

I even wrote a post intended to encourage you to check them out, stuck it on my sidebar and promptly forgot about it.

A week ago, I found that post and was about to dump it when I realized there was a lesson in those movies that might address an increasing concern.

We’re going through a rough patch in English Canada when it comes to getting people to watch the films and TV we make.

The TV bar seldom rises above a million viewers. And we lose the opportunity to ignite new interest because too much broadcast shelf space is taken up by repeats or series that would normally be axed by any industry based on ratings but which get renewed here mostly because the network needs to amortize its investment over a second or third season.

On our movie screens, the situation is worse.

While it makes sense that a film like “Gunless” would fail to find an audience and collapse under its own mediocrity, it’s tough to understand why a singularly original piece like “The Trotsky”, blessed by positive reviews, a spectacular trailer and lots of online heat would attract only paltry handfuls of paying customers at an embarrassingly small number of cinemas.

20090825-The-Trotsky

Part of the trouble “The Trotsky” is having in finding an audience is that it’s a fairly highbrow high concept (a high school kid who thinks he’s the reincarnation of Leon Trotsky).

Nothing wrong with that creatively. But the film is also being sold as home-grown product in an industry that has made a point of repeatedly reminding Canadians how meaningful and important everything it releases is.

This ignores the reality that “meaningful” and “important” are verdicts rendered by the audience. They decide if a movie is those things or if it’s art and especially if it’s worth parting with ten bucks or more to experience in the first place.

Whatever intent might reside in the hearts of a film’s creators, distributors or a well-meaning government bureaucrat means nothing in the final analysis.

The audience always decides. 

But, unfortunately, the Canadian film industry has followed a “Top Down” approach to production and marketing for a long time now, following the Family Compact tradition of knowing what’s best to maintain peace, order and good government among we hewers of wood and carriers of water.

We’re also a society that has been taught to endlessly seek affirmation and approval. And if that can’t be found from outside, its provided to us from above.

So people in the government's employ here have become our “deciders”, doing so through various forms of bureaucratic activity be it funding allocation, regional needs or prevailing government sentiment with regard to what’s best for us to embrace; continually reminding us on a film’s release that its content is elevating, earnestly reflects our best traits or has been acknowledged by international festival juries.

Unlike countries whose successful entertainment industries built themselves from what the local audience would eagerly pay for and then kept challenging them (the way artists do) to expand their tastes and interests; we took an elitist approach and ended up alienating the very people we most need in order to succeed.

Therefore, when “The Trotsky” comes along, it not only has to deal with the inevitable “Who’s Trotsky again?” “I never heard of the Russian revolution, so will I get the jokes?” questions; it is also saddled with differentiating itself from Canadian “comedies” that came before and bored the asses off the people now scanning the multiplex marquee for something to entertain them.

There’s probably no better example of this process than the way we approach historical drama. Almost everything in that genre made here is also “Top Down” concentrating on our political notables and their achievements, “Trudeau”, “Rene Levesque”, “Tommy Douglas: Prairie Giant”, “Elijah”.

No soul shattering “Hotel Rwanda” version of some African massacre for us either. We might “Shake Hands With The Devil” but we have our side represented by a General and keep the encounter clinical and politically correct, avoiding universal truths in order to make sure blame is properly assigned.

SPOILER ALERT: None of it was our guy’s fault despite what a lot of Belgians might tell you.

We also hardly ever look at our history from the point of view of the people who had their lives impacted by such as those listed above, even though its those people who comprise the audience we’re endeavoring to reach.

We have rarely examined our wars through the eyes of ordinary fighting men. No “Band of Brothers” or “The Pacific” or even an "In Which We Serve" or "The Cruel Sea", in the process establishing a distance between what so many experienced but has yet to be dramatized and made relatable to their children and grandchildren.

And as anybody who has written historical drama or even a biopic will tell you, the secret to finding an audience is making the story and characters resonate with contemporary lives.

spartacus-blood-and-sand-episode-10

“Spartacus: Blood and Sand” may be a pot-boiler combination of video game violence, hot sex and B-movie dialogue. But so far, it has stayed true to the historical record. Crixus, Batiatus and Oenomaus --- all real people. The brilliance of the writing and production is that it fills in the gaps in our recorded knowledge with material a modern audience will happily embrace.

The series' success has led to books about Spartacus flying off library and bookstore shelves all over the world. There may be a few readers wondering what happened to the part where Spartacus bangs Ilithyia, but just as many are realizing the corrupt and declining Roman Empire offers insights into our own time.

Likewise, you can’t watch the final episode of “The Pacific” in which the fighting men come home without seeing direct comparisons to warriors returning from Afghanistan or Iraq and gaining greater understanding into how difficult the transition from combat can be for all concerned.

There is no reason Canadian films couldn’t be connecting with Canadian audiences in the same way. Which brings me back to “Bottle Shock” and “Battle in Seattle”.

Both films were made for budgets of $8 Million – about 20% more than “The Trotsky” and 20% less than “Gunless”. So they are not beyond our production norm.

Both deal with events of less than minor importance in the march of history but which remain moments that altered the way we view the world.

“Bottle Shock” is about how the world discovered California wines.

It's a feel-good underdog story told with immense charm and an endearing mood of innocence. Beautifully shot and featuring a bravura performance by Alan Rickman, the cast includes Bill Pullman, Chris Pine, Rachael Taylor, Freddy Rodriguez, Eliza Dushku and Dennis Farina. No doubt all of them enticed by a fine script by Jody Savin, (director) Randall Miller and Ross Schwartz which includes one of my favorite lines about culture -- "You're a snob. It limits you."

Here's a taste…

"Bottle Shock" is both historically accurate and unapologetically fun. It doesn't try to say it is important or meaningful. Its message is simply, "This happened and we think you'd enjoy hearing about it -- perhaps while enjoying a crisp Chardonnay."

I also guarantee that when its over you'll seek out a bottle of Chateau Montelena ($3 a bottle in 1976 and $170 today).

See what a little enjoyable movie PR might do for a non-cultural industry?

And you wouldn't have to look too far to find an almost identical Canadian story just waiting to be told. Mere months ago, a Quebec cheese beat all of its French competitors to be named the best cheese in the world.

I see Don McKellar in the role of a man who knows cheese with the guys from "Les Boys" as Gaspe Dairy farmers and perhaps Pamela Anderson or Kim Cattrall as winsome milkmaids…

Who knows, maybe there's a Quebecois scynariste at work on the project right now. And I hope that's true, because once again, there's little likelihood our "Top Down" regionally fractured subsidy system would support such a project submitted from elsewhere.

That's because our "the only way you can get anything made is with government money" system also forces the bureaucrat green-lighting a historical piece to make sure questions aren't raised about why nobody is making a film about Ontario cheese, Okanagan wines or the Italian discovery that the best pasta flour came from Saskatchewan.

It's always safer for those guys to just stick with politicians. Even if nobody West of Manitoba will bother with a movie about Trudeau and nobody East of it will endure one about Diefenbaker at least you can cover your butt by regurgitating what every Canadian kid has to learn in school anyway.

Like it or not, the unspoken reality of state funded art is that you can't keep politics out of the decision making.

And that means a film like "Battle in Seattle" is unlikely to get any Public funding in Canada. More's the pity too, because this is one of the best films you'll see to gain an understanding of what International Trade Agreements, Corporate Globalism and acronyms like "WTO" and "IMF" mean to all of us.

Written and directed by actor Stuart Townsend, the film takes you into the lives of politicians, anarchists and ordinary people with views from all parts of the political spectrum or no ideological position at all as they confront each other on the streets of Seattle.

Mostly shot on the streets of Vancouver with a Canadian crew, the film is filled with taut drama and chaotic action from stars Martin Henderson, Charlize Theron, Woody Harrelson, Connie Nielsen, Andre Benjamin, Michelle Rodriguez and Ray Liotta; with a gem of a performance by Rade Serbedzija as a doctor begging for AIDS drugs for Africa.

The film's trailer perfectly captures its mood…

That final phrase "The Whole World's Watching" was first chanted on the streets of Chicago in 1968 (coincidentally the 2nd time in my life when I was tear gassed). And it provides a clue to how the same kind of film might be possible here.

Also on the streets of Chicago that night was a cinematographer named Haskell Wexler, who filmed much of the riot as well as the pitched daylight battle between police and protestors in Grant Park.

He took his footage and built a film around it called "Medium Cool" shot on the same locations in Chicago a year later with actors Robert Forster and Verna Bloom filling in the drama interspersed with the riot footage.

We copied this concept during the first season of "Adderly", sending a camera guy to shoot "B" roll of some political summit and ending up with spectacular footage of riot cops, slinky limos and flag festooned avenues, into which we inserted our fictional spies and a concocted international intrigue.

It gave us a level of production far beyond our budget yet cost next to nothing. And the same opportunity, only on a much larger scale, awaits somebody willing to do the same during the G20 Conference in Toronto at the end of June.

Shoot what you can. Add a story later. While the bureaucrats at the CMF will be loathe to come near you, you might have enough to get a private investor to take a chance.

Both "Bottle Shock" and "Battle in Seattle" illustrate ways we might be able to get around the bureaucracies choking off our connection with audiences and lure them back into our theatres.

They also illustrate that our audiences aren't getting anywhere near their money's worth from Canadian films of comparable budget.

How does either film offer an array of marquee names while "Gunless" costs more and stars Paul Gross and virtually nobody else you've heard of?

How does one film recreate the 1970's in both Napa Valley and Paris while the other offers relentless action, yet both cost less than a Canadian one which, while in an easier to replicate period relies on one set and crams all of its action into the final 10 minutes?

Those are things we need to look into as well, but which we can't since Telefilm never tells when questioned on how taxpayer money was spent.

Getting those bureaucratic mentalities out of our industry is the first step to making our audience realize we're just like them and not somebody else from the government trumpeting what's good for them while charging for what they already paid for.

But until we solve those problems --- Go see "The Trotsky" and take along as many friends as you can. They won't be disappointed and none of you will have any trouble finding a seat.

Lazy Sunday # 119: The Hunt For Gollum

If there’s one thing that rankles most writers of film or Television, it’s fan fiction; that process by which people who liked the world you created decide to make it their own with new stories and characters they concoct to usurp it.

If these are done by those with limited talent or imagination, it’s like watching one of your kids being torn apart and sewn back together by an amateur Dr. Frankenstein. If another screenwriter does it, professional courtesy requires that you refer to it as a “spec script”.

But every now and then, somebody takes your work to places you never imagined it could go, not hacking it up to fit in the tiny box of inspiration they’ve constructed but expanding it into realms you never imagined were there.

I first read “The Lord of the Rings” during my first professional acting gig, huddled in the back of a freezing bus as the company toured a repertory of plays through a Saskatchewan winter. The richness of Tolkien’s “Middle Earth” transported me beyond that frozen wasteland and the daily rigours of tear down, travel and remount required of a touring player.

And, in many ways, that was its original intent as Tolkien wrote much of it in letters to his son, who was serving in Africa during WWII, in hopes of encouraging the young man to keep going and remain positive.

Despite the novel’s enormous popularity, it took more than 50 years to finally reach the screen (a partial attempt by animator Ralph Bakshi notwithstanding) and much of that due to the rights constantly changing hands among wealthy fans, counter culture heroes and even members of the Beatles.

The success of Peter Jackson’s eventual trilogy led to the same flood of imitators who have built entire “fan film” industries around “Star Wars” and “Star Trek”.

But “Rings” fan Chris Bouchard wanted to do something different. With the help of 160 volunteers and at a cost of $5000 he delivered a completely new chapter of the Middle Earth saga with all the art and quality of a completely original work.

The story follows the “greatest huntsman and traveler in Middle Earth” as he sets out to find the creature Gollum, in order to discover the truth about the Ring.

After reaching an “understanding” with Tolkien Enterprises, the rights holder to the underlying material, “The Hunt for Gollum” was released last May, and has since been seen by tens of millions of viewers.

In addition to its worth as a stand-alone entertainment, “The Hunt for Gollum” exemplifies the growing expectation of quality among online viewers when it comes to webisodes, mobisodes and other internet content that’s spun from a successful TV series or film. And that makes it imperative viewing for anyone currently developing a web series or show related web content.

The full 40 minute version of “The Hunt for Gollum” can be found all over the internet, with a HD version here.

But here’s a taste of what awaits. Fan fiction worth celebrating. Enjoy your Sunday.

Brown bag Card~

I made my very first card using a brown paper bag for my mother for Mother's day. I think it turned out kinda caute for something made using a paper sack. I took a photo of myself as a small child (eh gawds, I guess you could say a vintage photo of myself!) and made a transparency with it. (if your going to do this as well, make a mirrored copy so the emulsion will be on the inside of the card) Anywho, I used some velum paper under the transparency which I then colored using some chalk to give the picture some color. I stitched on the bag, inked it, painted it and stitched it somemore. I turned the folded section of the paper bag into a pocket to hold a gift card~I also made a pocked on the backside to hold one of my info-cards~I made a sheet music envelope to hold the card and tied it up with some vintage fabic that I stamped with one of my favorite stamps.I happened upon a bundle of smaller bags recently at a second hand store for super cheap.... I'm thinking of making tags out of them. Another... "one of these days I'm going to do that projects~ "

Merit Badge~

This past previous weekend I went to 3 block sales and one parking lot rummage sale. The weather was beautiful, my sweet-sweet '66 Mustang was purring along, my grandkids were coming over for the day to play. Everything was right in the world. Soooooooooo the first block sale... nothing fancy-pancy, there were four houses set up when I got there at 6:30. First house, two magazines--- .20cents. Next two house, nadda-zip-zilch. The last house.... interesting. Tons of things nicely set up. Gag, those are the yard sales that always charge an arm and a leg. Wait... whatdid'ya say? Cheap stuff? ok... how much for these 5 frames? .50cents you say? I say SOLD. They had a desk top covered with some jewelry and watches. I was wanting some odds and ends of jewelry. The gal said I can have it all for $5 bucks. (The following two pictures shows the stuff I'm keeping) Most will be used in art, some will be worn and the other things will be tossed into my grandaughter's play jewelry box. There are 12 watches, bracelets, sterling silver earrings, brand new earrings with $20 prices still on them... Necklaces, chains, goldtone hair barrettes, 3 sterling silver bangles.... I spotted a little black box on another table... opened it, thought ok, more jewelry... I was to lazy to put on my glasses to actually see what it was. -- I asked how much, they looked at it and said a buck. Ok, toss that into my bag, I'll take it. See the small black box on top of the other box? Howza'bout a closer look to see what my dollar got me?....There were two chains and two pendants.... cute~There were these three...A sterling silver ring, a sterling silver charm and a sterling silver band around a crystal. Very cute~Lastly, there were these three.... Two 14 carat rings with diamonds and a 14 carat heart charm. CAUTE!! Seriously, had I had my glasses on, I would have put the box down and walked away from it figuring it was going to be a huge amount being asked for each piece.... I calculated $1 by 8 items... and it worked out to 12.5 cents apiece. The big gold ring is my Merit badge. Who's laughing now? um yea, that'd be me, out loud I might add! I am wearing it as I type!
Inside the garage I found a dagger letter opener that will be a perfect little addition for my pirate outfit .50cents, bunches of silk roses for .50cents for the lot, yards & yards of fabric with roses on it all for .50cents, X-mas ornaments .50cents and here is a picture of those wooden gold frames that I got for .50cents for the lot that started my shopping frenzy at that yard sale.I also got a huge gold key for $3, a wooden tiki guy for $2, and a brown round suitcase for $2. And a lifetime of smiling at my new 12cent diamond ring~Below is this weeks haul! A chiming clock that works... $1 I'm not a big fan of chiming clocks, I was going to pull this one apart and use it for a mixed media piece--- but it has a soft chime, so it might live like it is for awhile~ But its sooooooooo getting painted white & distressed.Two rose paintings $5 for both~Twiggy garland was $3.... there are two of them and they are both marked $16.98 each. *gasp* Man-oh-man, I had a hard enough time forking over three bucks, can you imagine paying close to twenty bucks each???Antique rose painting $1~Look at the beautiful chippiness of it.... I'm going to seal it with some matte shellac to prevent any more of the paint from coming off. (don't try this on anything of value)A mirror $4, a china clock $1, bingo game cards .50cents, a milk glass candy dish with roses on it $1 and lastly, a .25cent bottle that I'm going to use at my Mad hatter tea party. I guess I'll get busy paintin'~