The Standings -- Round One
Across the country, Canadian writers born into the culture of hockey, men and women who could skate before they could walk, could deliver checks before they could read and shoot long before they would ever score, now stand askance. For a mad pulp bastard from a place where they golf DURING THE SEASON sits atop the playoff pool.
Sports talk radio will today be abuzz at this new example of how our great game is being screwed up by Americans.
We know Gary Bettman and the NY office of the NHL is behind this, Cunningham! We know he told you not to pick any Thrashers, even though they're practically your home team! And we also now suspect the league is secretly running this pool site since it puts you where you are over a good Canadian boy like Dix, merely because you're one letter closer to the top of the alphabet. ONE LETTER!!!!
Don't think this will be forgotten my supposed friend. Even now, from ocean to ocean to ocean (And how many countries can say that? Yes, we have a Left Coast, a Right Coast and one that goes aaaalllll the way between them!) anyway, all over those places in between, Canadian broadcasters are even now colluding to flood your airwaves with even more cooking, remodeling and yoga shows. Enjoy your prime time and your Saturday afternoon games, fella, because we'll own all those hours when nobody's watching! Ha!
Oh, yeah -- this week's standings....
1 Bill Cunningham 50
1 Will Dixon 50
3 Mark Farrell 45
4 Larry Raskin 42
5 Dave Moses 40
5 Jim Henshaw 40
7 Micah Reid 39
7 Denis McGrath 39
9 John Whaley 37
10 Juniper 35
11 Michael Foster 32
12 Mark Askwith 30
And please, people -- could we have a little trash talking here? Me and Dave Moses ranked as equals??? In some Battlestar Alternate Assbackward Universe perhaps...
And have any of you other tied players noticed that except for first place the other ties ARE NOT in alphabetical order??? I'm phoning those "Loose Change" guys or Rosie. There's definitely something going on here...
Check Will's site on Monday to see how the first round shook out and how many players you've got left. Oh, yeah and when you do -- that'll be me in first place.
